Focus On Fathers: You Matter In Your Child’s Life

Our family histories influence the father we want to be. Men's roles in our childhoods shape how we perceive our role as a dad in our children’s lives.

Society’s expectations for fathers change over time. How does your role as a father differ from what you experienced as a child?

Self-awareness is key to growing as a father. Consider how your strengths, challenges, feelings, and behavior affect your children.

Fatherhood is about physical and emotional engagement. This means involvement in your children's routines and activities. It also means nurturing their emotional and intellectual growth.

Be a role model for building healthy relationships. This includes your children, co-parent, and other people in your child’s life. Your children learn from how you manage key relationships in your child’s life.

Cultural and societal views influence our understanding of manhood. For example, being a man was previously tied to his ability to provide financially for his family.

Being a man isn’t ultimately about providing for the family. Society promotes idealized images of what a man “should” do and not do. Focus on character traits, skills and connecting with your children every day.

A man should take care of his physical and mental health. Your well-being reflects how you interact and provide a nurturing environment for your child.

Manhood involves being a role model to your children. Demonstrate the traits you want to instill in your children.

Society teaches that men and boys shouldn’t show their emotions. From a young age, boys learn not to express feelings such as sadness or fear. For example, they may have heard, “Boys shouldn’t cry.”

Negative emotions can affect your mental and physical health. They can affect your immune system and ability to handle stress.

Practicing self-care regularly can help you cope with negative emotions. Find an activity that helps you to relax – whether it’s reading, music, walking outdoors, etc.

Children learn how to manage their emotions by watching you. Set an example for them by using positive coping skills in your own life to help break the cycle of trauma.

Your child’s traits result from both nature and nurture. Some characteristics are present at birth, but others come from how you raise your child.

Discipline is about teaching our children. Punishment isn't the main focus – the goal is to guide our children in the right direction and help them become successful adults.

Adjust discipline and expectations to your child’s age. Your child’s abilities and maturity depend on their stage of development.

Set realistic goals for your child. Unrealistic expectations can lower your child’s self-worth when they don’t meet those goals.

Practice what you preach! Children mirror what adults do, so show the traits and skills you want them to develop.

Walk a mile in your co-parent’s shoes. Listen to their point of view, and approach them with empathy and an open mind.

Your co-parent’s parenting style comes from their family history, just as does yours. Take the time to understand their perspective and remember that theirs is as valid as yours.

Open communication is key to co-parenting successfully. Disagreement is natural. What’s important is showing your children how you resolve those differences. Be willing to compromise and have multiple conversations if you don't reach a solution quickly.

Focus parenting conversations on your child. The ultimate goal of co-parenting is working as a team for your child’s well-being. Avoid bringing up past conflicts or unrelated issues.